Why Is It So Hard To Say Sorry?

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 Happy Monday!

They say it is hard to forgive.  For me, that's easier than saying sorry. 

There's a lot to process to ready myself to say sorry.  I am not quick to realize my fault most times because I can be really stubborn and because I believe I think things through before I do them.  

Yet time and again, I find myself in the wrong and no matter how dogged I am to insist on my ways, I myself realize that my way isn't always the best.  

Despite the realization, what makes apologizing difficult? 

PRIDE. 

In each step of making an apology, pride will lure you away from it.   

1.   To apologize I must admit that I am wrong.  Most of the time, admitting that my emotion got the better of me, that I did not have the best of intentions, that I did not think things through, that I acted selfishly or that i looked only after my own convenience - these mean that I did not only let the other person down.  They also mean I let myself down.  I forgot, let lose, did not show up the way I thought I could.  

2.  To apologize I also must admit that you are right, that you acted better, that you deserved better.  I have to remove the focus on me and think about you, how you feel, how the situation put you at a disadvantage, how your ideas and response were so much better than mine.  I, at that moment, should put you ahead of me.  

3.  Lastly, to apologize must mean that I have to rectify, make up for, make ammends, make things right.  The effort, the restitution should be equal or greater than the mistake.  This for me calls for sincerity and active effort on my part.  However, it is also the most help for me.  When we rectify our mistake, we close a chapter correctly. We also heal most of the hurt. We create a bridge to move forward to.  

What do we get when we conquer pride and apologize? 

1.  We learn to be humble, to demand from ourself to take a hard look at what we did and our motives. 

2. We learn to empathize, to be considerate, to care. 

3.  We learn to face the consequences of our mistake and hopefully learn the lesson of never doing it again.  

It may take time.. it may be difficult.. but it is worth it.




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