Who is Right?

Happy Monday!

The dichotomy of right and wrong pulls people apart. It is refereshing to see when people display behavior that is not necessarily concerned with who is right or wrong, who is winning or losing, but rather behavior that makes sure everyone is listened to and looked out for.

Although it is impossible to always maintain a middle ground, it is for me, where two points could meet and actually have the potential to work things out. Doggedly staying on your corner will only validate your point of view, but it will never help in moving things forward with others.

As in any relationship, negotiation or persuasion, "sunduin mo" is what comes to mind. Meet people where they are if you want them to see your POV.

Here are some limiting statements that makes people avoid the middle ground and well, stay lonely.

1. I am higher.

Now: "You owe me" , "If it were not for me.."

Instead: "You can never play second fiddle in your success. Tell me, how did you take charge?"

Kind gesture: Build people up.

2. I am better.

Now: "Let me watch you mess this up on your own"

Instead: "With what can i help?"

Kind gesture: Support where you can without creating dependencies.

3. I am wiser.

Now: " You just dont get it"

Instead: "I didn't look at it that way. Tell me, If that is the way you see it, how do you think that impacts the situation?"

Kind gesture: Help me understand you.

4. I don't need you.

Now: "I can do this without you"

Instead: "Wouldn't this turn out better if we worked on it together?"

Kind gesture: You matter.

5. I knew it. (Hindsight is 20-20 🤦‍♀️)

Now: "I told you so!"

Instead: "What have you learned from this situation?"

Kind gesture: I know you will figure this out.

We are people of our own truths. Imposing our truth on others seldom encourages them to see our side of the story. In fact, the more stern we are at proving our point, the more they move away.

It is ok to not press on a point, sometimes, even if you have one. If we care about other people's truth, we encourage conversations instead of arguments, nurture relationships rather than ending them just because we "believe" we are right.

Is staying in the middle a weakness? I see it as a flexible position between opposing realities. You therefore gather strength not in winning but in understanding.

Tough times call for open hearts and minds.

Let's be kind.