Ability to Trust

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Happy Monday!

How important is trust to our happiness?

It sounds fairly simple that when you are in a safe place, in a safe job, in a safe situation, it is easier to be happy. So let us just put that aside for now.

I'd like to talk about the other side of the equation - the ability to trust and how it relates to our happiness.
They always say that trust is earned. I however had experiences with people whose trusts are either too expensive or fragile that there seems to be no way you'd earn it.

Those relationships are just... sad.

I have three points to keep in mind regarding our ability to trust.

1. Do not pile up trust issues from past relationships with the new ones.
I know we want to learn our lesson from past experiences. However, imagine fortifying yourself after every relationship that has broken your trust, and you won't only get a wall but a moat to protect you as well. You'd be so emotionally guarded there is no way a trusting relationship can ensue. You may be wiser, yes, but for what?
After you lose everybody else because of your distrust, all you'll get are casual relationships that does not need your vulnerability and therefore cannot grow deep.
Which brings me to my next point.

2. Trust begets trust.
This is the other side of the dance. Sometimes, its a tag of war who gives trust first. Trusting and open people encourages trust in relationships. I usually give more trust to people who I know trusts me. I know that their vulnerability is the same vulnerability i could give them because that is the level they operate.
Those who takes advantage and destroys trust of these trusting people do not do so because trust was aplenty. They are just that. They'd do things to betray you no matter what.

3. Do not filter trust.
The saying "trust is earned" gives us a picture that it is a commodity. It should not be.
Trust should be in our nature. A personal quality, an ability. As children, we trust whole heartedly. People around us take care of us because we depend on them. They rarely betray us.
What we give is not necessarily what we get at all times. That is not the point. Who gives the trust is my focus. You. Trust flows from you. No matter what others do outside of you should not decrease your ability to trust. Accept that there are people who are not deserving of your trust and usher them out of your life. However, I do know that for everyone else, your relationships can only be warm, genuine, supportive and lasting if you pour your trust into it.
This is not to say that you give them opportunities to take advantage. Do not incite abuse. Set your boundaries, express your values, expose your thoughts. Stand by what you put out and in trusting relationships, these will be respected. If they break your trust, none of these would change, would they?

I hope we all experience trust in our families, our friends, our colleagues, our significant others and even in our society.

I trust that we will all have a great week ahead of us!
📷ctto

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