Recover From Anger
There is a more pestering feeling other than regret that may interrupt our journey to achieving joy.
For those who unfortunately encountered evil in the eye, that feeling is ANGER.
I am not talking about anger towards irritating people. I am talking about anger towards people who hurt us, people who changed our view of humanity. They are the molesters, the assailants, cheaters.
In this post, I wish to bring to light ways to recover from anger.
By definition, to recover is to get back, to regain control, to reclaim balance.
Getting Peace Back
An attack against our person initially elicits the feelings of fear and helplessness. However, ultimately, it is the feeling of anger that lingers on. When we are angry, peace is taken away from us.
The accessibility of getting back at the aggressor, the permanence of the damage, and the value of what was lost determines how much of this anger remains with the aggrieved party.
Some anger may even be misdirected inwardly. Shame and self-blame may follow. This inappropriate course may happen consciously or unconsciously.
How do we get back peace when justice is not achieved and when life is forever altered?
As ruthless as it may sound, the first step to getting peace back is to FACE IT: look it in the eye, define, describe, grieve, talk, talk , talk, talk. When we verbalize a story, it takes a form that is structured, palpable, measurable, objective. It ceases to be that all-consuming ONE BIG EVENT with no form or boundaries. Processing traumatic experiences this way enables us to size up the situation.
Second, we must PROPERLY DIRECT the wrongdoing to the aggressor. Do not punish yourself consciously or unconsciously for something you had no hand in. This way, the self becomes your ally, not a sabotaging, self-destructive enemy.
Lastly, CONNECT. We get peace back from the security that loving people give us. They teach us to love ourselves again. Isolation makes us listen only to our fearful, shameful, angry self - a self not in the best position to help us for the time being.
Once peace and calm sets in, when the angry panic is already contained, we are more ready to move on to healing.
Regaining the power of Courage, not of Rage
Rage is the natural force of power that exhibits anger. The problem with rage is that power is assigned to the aggressor because it is reactive.
Instead of rage, acting on our higher self, one should draw COURAGE instead. Courage is a bold, daring press forward. Unlike rage, courage is a self-directed, intentional power to deal with anger.
Draw courage out to move us past anger and then to recovery. It takes courage to say: I have been had, I have become vulnerable, I am scarred, I am broken, I was powerless. However, it takes an even bigger courage to decide to do something about it.
Why?
Because that is what makes us most afraid: not knowing if we will indeed be ALRIGHT.
Take courage and trust that you will.
Reclaiming Mental Balance
Mental balance is a healthy psychological state of someone with good judgment, mental soundness and mental health.
Our mind may be the playground of haunting, recurring memory brought about by the situation. It is important to consider it as such - a memory. Distant, a thing of the past, unable to harm us anymore unless we let them.
Train your mind to focus on TODAY. Silence the noise of the past. Focus on your steps forward. Make healing your goal. Take that journey back to a healthy self. A journey taken with honesty, acceptance, courage and intention.
Breathe in. Breath out. Concentrate on NOW.
I admit. It is not easy to do all that is written here. We travel at different pace towards healing. Time plays a big part in this whole process. The people we surround ourselves matter equally.
The more important thing to know now is that RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE. Being ready to recover is just a matter of time.
For those who unfortunately encountered evil in the eye, that feeling is ANGER.
I am not talking about anger towards irritating people. I am talking about anger towards people who hurt us, people who changed our view of humanity. They are the molesters, the assailants, cheaters.
By definition, to recover is to get back, to regain control, to reclaim balance.
Getting Peace Back
An attack against our person initially elicits the feelings of fear and helplessness. However, ultimately, it is the feeling of anger that lingers on. When we are angry, peace is taken away from us.
The accessibility of getting back at the aggressor, the permanence of the damage, and the value of what was lost determines how much of this anger remains with the aggrieved party.
Some anger may even be misdirected inwardly. Shame and self-blame may follow. This inappropriate course may happen consciously or unconsciously.
How do we get back peace when justice is not achieved and when life is forever altered?
As ruthless as it may sound, the first step to getting peace back is to FACE IT: look it in the eye, define, describe, grieve, talk, talk , talk, talk. When we verbalize a story, it takes a form that is structured, palpable, measurable, objective. It ceases to be that all-consuming ONE BIG EVENT with no form or boundaries. Processing traumatic experiences this way enables us to size up the situation.
Second, we must PROPERLY DIRECT the wrongdoing to the aggressor. Do not punish yourself consciously or unconsciously for something you had no hand in. This way, the self becomes your ally, not a sabotaging, self-destructive enemy.
Lastly, CONNECT. We get peace back from the security that loving people give us. They teach us to love ourselves again. Isolation makes us listen only to our fearful, shameful, angry self - a self not in the best position to help us for the time being.
Once peace and calm sets in, when the angry panic is already contained, we are more ready to move on to healing.
Regaining the power of Courage, not of Rage
Rage is the natural force of power that exhibits anger. The problem with rage is that power is assigned to the aggressor because it is reactive.
Instead of rage, acting on our higher self, one should draw COURAGE instead. Courage is a bold, daring press forward. Unlike rage, courage is a self-directed, intentional power to deal with anger.
Draw courage out to move us past anger and then to recovery. It takes courage to say: I have been had, I have become vulnerable, I am scarred, I am broken, I was powerless. However, it takes an even bigger courage to decide to do something about it.
Why?
Because that is what makes us most afraid: not knowing if we will indeed be ALRIGHT.
Take courage and trust that you will.
Reclaiming Mental Balance
Mental balance is a healthy psychological state of someone with good judgment, mental soundness and mental health.
Our mind may be the playground of haunting, recurring memory brought about by the situation. It is important to consider it as such - a memory. Distant, a thing of the past, unable to harm us anymore unless we let them.
Train your mind to focus on TODAY. Silence the noise of the past. Focus on your steps forward. Make healing your goal. Take that journey back to a healthy self. A journey taken with honesty, acceptance, courage and intention.
Breathe in. Breath out. Concentrate on NOW.
I admit. It is not easy to do all that is written here. We travel at different pace towards healing. Time plays a big part in this whole process. The people we surround ourselves matter equally.
The more important thing to know now is that RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE. Being ready to recover is just a matter of time.
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