Still Working On It
Happy Monday!
"Still working on it"... this is a thought that accompanied me all throughout the holy week. I spent hours just to get myself disposed to prayer. I get distracted easily, i feel uninspired and there is just a need to put so much effort just to "tune in".
All the upbringing, the education, the formation and I am still working on my prayer life like a habit that just won't stick.
All the wonderful things to thank for, all the petitions urgently needing prayers and I could not focus.
Its frustrating, inviting self doubt and downright shameful. I have been given soooo much to be giving too little.
Yet, in the midst of it all... that thought, " I am still working on it". Then it dawned on me, I got this all wrong.
Alas, the right thought...
"Father, please continue working on me."
Only then did prayer begin.
How lonesome it is to assume that I can move mountains (a.k.a. my hard headed tendencies) without the source of grace. Everything is grace. Everything is grace. Everything is grace.
Make no mistake, we are gonna get there. How, when, if - all of this will depend on working on it daily relying on, no - asking for God's grace to be with us. Enjoy the journey.
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