How Do You Say Goodbye?

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 Happy Monday!

How do you say goodbye? 

Last July 11, I received a memorable call from a very good friend of mine. She started this way, "Check, mahal mo ba ako?"

I knew it was not gonna be an easy conversation. My friend has been battling with cancer on and off for the past five years.  This is not a casual call. 

Of course, I said yes.  This friend knows how to talk about hard topics. She went right to the point. "I won't be receiving treatment anymore, tell me what you want to tell me now." 

Courage, clarity, vulnerability, friendship, love. That 2 hour conversation is for the books. One that can only be shared by two willing souls.  

Mind you, it was not all mushy. She was always very concerned about others. Right in the middle of her own pain, she thought of how others were, how beautiful this or that person was, how she is afraid to tell others because it may be difficult for them to accept...I have no words for the soul that I saw that day. 

This Monday, let me share with you the source of smile that has greeted me so many times. 

1.  Joyful abandon . From the way she laughs, her loud voice and laughter, her candor and simplicity -  attitude of joyful abandon. Nothing she'd hesitate to say or do. Even in this hard time, she was accepting, holding nothing to burden her. 

2. Collect and create memories.  Collecting memories and memorabilla were her forte. From stamps, to post cards, to mcDonald toys.  She told me she has a journal where she wrote to her son on most days, especially the important ones. 

3.  Say it NOW.  Do I feel I am writing this too late? She is still here but I will not know for sure if she can still appreciate what I write. Despite that long conversation, and a number of calls and chat in between, I still feel I have not said goodbye yet as she wishes.  I still feel this is too little, too late. I guess, love makes you feel that. Nothing is enough. She gave me a chance, she gave us a chance, she prepared us.  NOW gets a new meaning. 

I love you, thank you, no goodbyes.  Yet, there is... 

4.  Goodbyes prepare us to our many hellos.  Let our greetings be more appreciative, more heartfelt, more present.  Time to say goodbye will come and our many hugs, and kind words, and time spent together will comfort us (insufficiently) when the time comes.  

My happy Monday isn't too happy. Its ok. We had happy times and the crackling memory of laughter will linger on... thank you.

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