Are You Afraid To Be Happy?

Happy Monday!

Are you afraid to be happy?

I always thought that the only reason why people would not be happy is because they need to learn how to spot joy where they are.

However, this week, a friend of mine reacted to my blog/vlog by saying "Mahirap naman lagi kang masaya." When I asked her to elaborate, she said, "Kasi I feel that pag sobrang saya mo, ang susunod dun, lungkot."

This hit me. Not because I found it strange but because, I know, there was a time I also felt the same way.

When I was a child, my grandma would always say, "Tawa kayo ng tawa, mamaya iiyak kayo." As if every happy moment can be snatched out of our hands to keep the world's balance.

So what do we do? We keep ourselves from being too happy because we might tip the balance.

One thing I learned in life is this..." walang forever" (nothing lasts forever). Be it good or bad, it'll pass. Not because you enjoyed it too much or because you wallowed in it enough. It is just how life is. It is moving, changing, evolving. Our internal and external world is constantly becoming.

We will always be vulnerable to the shifting emotions that all these changes will cause.

These shifts, however should not be looked upon as punishment. Granting we were not wreckless causing real objective repercussions of course.

There are three things I think we should arm ourselves with to lessen the blow of changes in our circumstances.

1. Acceptance - be open to what comes. As I always say, there are things we can control and there are things we can't. Life will surprise us sometimes (good or bad), but it will not overwhelm us if we are ready to accept whatever comes. The more we resist a volatile world, the more we'd struggle in futility. In any form of healing and evolving, acceptance is a prerequisite.

2. Courage - dare to feel and be human. Does fear paralyze you? Does happiness overwhelm you? Do problems weigh you down? Does love frighten you? In most cases, what prevents us from being courageous is this question, "What if?" This question casts doubt and fear even in the most glorious moments. What if I never get over this? What if they'd think less of me? What if I fail? What if this is the last time I will see him/experience this/ be on the top of my game? Remember, and i too need this reminder in many of my crossroads: Daring frees me from not knowing the answer to this (What if?) nemesis. Choose your battle, no need to be reckless, but in things that matter, it always pays to take courage.

3. Gratitude - appreciate the experience. This moment, good or bad, is a CHANCE. You are given a shot to enjoy the good times, learn from the bad times, prove yourself in difficulties, take your stand in moments of doubt. Be grateful for the chances that each moment brings. One thing is for sure, key moments in our lives are never random. It is carefully engineered in our days. They will all make sense in the end.

We don't own our moments. Parties will end, children will grow older, money will be spent, we will lose our youth.

What we can do with the moments we are given is to LIVE in it. Laugh, love, cry, be mad, be loud, be quiet, be sad. Stay with your moment. Be present to your moment. Face it squarely, like a teacher, like a friend.

I'd say, dare to live your moments, cheers! 🍷

How about you?

#joyinmetoday