Good Company
I have always been lucky to be surrounded by good people. There are times, I just smile at the thought of how lucky I am to have met the friends I have in my life today. I am truly grateful!
I was never really a stickler for experiences. Be it in choosing a job, going places, attending events - I always bring one or two people from these experiences to my circle. Through the years, I find that people who are not really for me eventually purge themselves out of my circle naturally .
Therefore, let me tell you the secret to keeping good company around: Strive to be a good person yourself.
In anything, the struggle is internal. Your first company is yourself. You wake up with yourself and sleep with yourself. Your own biases lead you to people who have the same biases. Your own interest leads you to people who are interested in the same things. Your philosophies lead you to people who share the same view.
People who are around us reflect our actions, thoughts and belief. If they don't, they will hover in our lives for sometime but you would lose interest in them (or they in you) in time. Nothing demotes a friend to acquaintance faster than incompatibility.
YOU are the starting point of the company you keep.
We attract good company by the standards we keep. We are protected from bad company by the same standards.
With that, I think what I want to focus on in this post is not the company of people we have in our lives. Instead, I'd like to focus on the collection of experiences and thoughts we have that make us a good company to ourselves and others. We grow and become via the experiences and thought we allow to enter our lives. We meet and keep the right people in our lives by how we live it.
Experiences
Our homes, job, school, leisure time, travel, Friday night outs, Saturday mornings, Sundays - are all part of our experiences. Some of them are there naturally. Some we have to plan out. How do we make the most of these experiences so that we become better through them?
Do we value the time we spend at home with activities that make our homes more homey, welcoming, livable, friendlier?
Do we treat our jobs as a way to enrich the lives of others by being good at what we do? Do we teach others to up their game because you play it well? Do we bring value to our clients by dealing with us because you cared more than others? Do we bring ideas that solve and not block? Do we move for growth and learning and therefore surrender ourselves to mentors and role models?
How did you spend your weekend? Did you learn anything new or met anyone new? Did you get better at something? Did you finally get that quiet time you said you were gonna get? Did you find time to center back into yourself for a while? Was it maddeningly hectic and yet, lovingly accepted? Did you free up some time from your weekday by spending a good time to prepare for it this weekend? Did you read that book gathering dust in your living room? Did you give someone a smile?
Thoughts
I harped on the importance of how we talk to ourselves more than enough times in this blog. I found the following lines most appropriate for what I want to say.
Jackson Kiddard says: "Anything that annoys you is teaching you patience. Anyone who abandons you is teaching you how to stand on your own. Anything that angers you is teaching you forgiveness and compassion. Anything that has power over you is teaching you how to take your power back. Anything you hate is teaching you unconditional love. Anything you fear is teaching you courage to overcome your fear. Anything you can't control is teaching you how to let go."
Our experiences with people and events are all opportunities to learn something. How we accept them as teachers define their purpose in our lives. We should therefore guard our thoughts as they will govern the filters we will set. It is the "processing plant" of lessons and principles we will gain as byproduct of the experiences and people that will pass through our lives.
I sometimes find myself guilty of the thoughts I keep. Sometimes of insecurity, sometimes borne out of fear and worry. Other times even out of pure hate.
The thing is...if we struggled hard enough and got it right enough times, we would have surrounded ourselves with people to shepherd us back on the right track when we are swerving towards negative thoughts.
Yes, having good company starts with us, and dare I say benefits us the most in the end as well.
Win-win if you'd ask me.
Are you in good company?
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