Joy In A Stressful World

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Stress is the new cholera. It's an epidemic affecting people of all ages and for good reasons.



We are all afflicted by stress in varying degrees.  I myself have a stress related ailment:  Psoriasis.  I got it in 2005.  Back then  (and maybe even now), the source of my stress was all mental.  

My daily life was a battle between how I am living my life and how I actually want to live it.  

Then one day, Psoriasis happened to me and I faced the lessons I needed to learn then (and now).  

1.  I need to be honest with myself. 

I was not happy.  I did not like dressing up, working with numbers, or being thought of as soliciting favor (again this is purely mental).  I wanted to be happy with it, but I was not.  

Back then, I did not want to admit it because I wanted to be "like" the people I worked with.  I did not want to be tagged a quitter. I did not want them to find out I am not the person they thought I was -  that I am not in their ranks.

I was obviously focusing on the wrong things.  I thought what everybody wanted to have, achieve, do, was what I wanted as well.  It was not the case. I was too proud to admit that in fact, I was failing.  

2.  I need to believe that when I know what I want, too good to be true, is true. 

So what did I want?  

I wanted to earn, teach, travel. 

I want to have time to take a vacation, roam the mall on a weekday (office hours - legally), and dress however I want on a work day.  

I want to be consulted for life and heart matters.  

I thought all these existed in my comfort zone - a frowned upon zone, I was taught.  My mental script told me that all of these cannot be WORK because it did not feel like work. All of these came naturally to me.  It can't possibly be a source of livelihood.  

Fast forward to today... It is work, it is comfortable, it is true. There was a reason why I like them:  so that I can enjoy work.    

3.  Everything  has a price. I could choose to pay for joy.  

I was not used to asking myself if I was happy with things.  I follow rules. I can be swayed easily.  In most cases, more so in the past, I fail to ask:  Am I happy with this? 

Nowadays, I try to ask this question more often.  It is not always easy.  I learned that there is always a trade-off . I learned that I will not be able to please everyone. When these are imminent: I choose to pay for joy.  

I pay for joy when I speak my mind despite the risk of being misunderstood. 
I pay for joy when I accept to earn less doing what I want to work on. 
I pay for joy when I do for others only what I think is appropriate and nothing more. 
I pay for joy when I give myself permission to be happy. 
I pay for joy when I take a rest and put off things I normally would like to be ticked off on my "to do list". 
I pay for joy when I do more than I need to so that I can free my mind thinking of what ifs. 
I pay for joy when I exhaust myself with things I find enjoyable, just because. 
I pay for joy when I exhaust myself loving / forgiving people I should not love/ forgive, just because.

It does not matter whether I am taking the difficult or the easy road to be happy. The key is that I CHOOSE.  

There is always a choice.  Stress sometimes happen when we feel trapped and left with no option.  Pressed for a decision, pressed for time, pressed for agreement.  Being happy is real work.  It is made up of courageous steps. 

Our life is a trust walk. When it is difficult to believe, difficult to be honest, difficult to choose - think:  Which is more difficult, to be daring now, or to wake up  to a life I cannot be happy in? 

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