Joy

Stress is the new cholera. It's an epidemic affecting people of all ages and for good reasons. We are all afflicted by stress in varying degrees.  I myself have a stress related ailment:  Psoriasis.  I got it in 2005.  Back then  (and maybe even now), the source of my stress was all mental.   My daily life was a battle between how I am living my life and how I actually want to live it.   Then one day, Psoriasis happened to me and I faced the lessons I needed to learn then (and now).   1.  I need to be honest with myself.  I was not happy.  I did not like dressing up, working with numbers, or being thought of as soliciting favor (again this is purely mental).  I wanted to be happy with it, but I was not.   Back then, I did not want to admit it because I wanted to be "like" the people I worked with.  I did not want to be tagged a quitter. I did not want them to find out I am not the person they thought I was -  that I am not in their rank

I was supposed to write about another getting over...moving on kinda post but after mass today, I changed my mind. I moved on.  Ahahaha! Though I would like to give my little share of ideas to help people get over some of the most nagging negative feelings so they can crossover to joy... I thought, in my life, there is nothing better than what I am about to share. So I'll go straight to that. On a trip, while I was staring out the window fascinated by the colors of fall, I realized I was so happy I just needed to pray.  So I did.  Once I retreated to that place where I met my Lord, I realized that all the joy I felt marveling over the color and beauty outside pale in comparison to the joy that I felt in that short 2 minutes commune with God. Similarly, in times I feel troubled, hurried, consumed with panic, my mind screeches to a halt and just center thoughts out to God.  In those times. nothing seem to make sense. No.  Make that - nothing tangible, immediate and logica

There is a more pestering feeling other than regret that may interrupt our journey to achieving joy. For those who unfortunately encountered evil in the eye, that feeling is ANGER. I am not talking about anger towards irritating people.  I am talking about anger towards people who hurt us, people who changed our view of humanity.  They are the molesters, the assailants, cheaters. In this post, I wish to bring to light ways to recover from anger.  By definition, to recover is to get back, to regain control, to reclaim balance . Getting Peace Back An attack against our person initially elicits the feelings of fear and helplessness.  However, ultimately, it is the feeling of anger that lingers on. When we are angry, peace is taken away from us. The accessibility of getting back at the aggressor, the permanence of the damage, and the value of what was lost determines how much of this anger remains with the aggrieved party.      Some anger may even be misdirected inwar

Since we are on the topic of time, I would like to talk today about regrets (roll up sleeves). I had soooooo many.  From the things I did, the things I did not do, to the things I bought and did not buy; said and did not say,  ate and did not eat.  There is so much guilt on not making the right decision at the right time with the right people. STOP. I used to have a collection of regrets. I look back at them as I would a photo album or a compilation of movies or tv series played over and over.  Hah! Now, I do not want to remember the contents of that collection anymore...but I do squirm at the thought of how long I spent ogling over them like prized possessions. At some point, I took a hard look at myself and said:  "My best years are yet to come". It was liberating.  Shifting my focus from "what could have been?" to "what could I do?" was magic! With that statement, I honored the glorious past, I respected my failures and mistakes, I embra

We exist in time, so does joy. Memories, regret, hope are also co-inhabitants in time.  There is no real joy unless we are at peace with all that was, is and will be. Time moves, it presses on.  That is why another concept comes into play all the time. This concept is that of CHANGE.  The more we are comfortable with change, the better for our emotional and psychological state of being. Life is tiding through the ebb and flow of things, people and events in our lives. How can we be comfortable with change then, so that this life becomes a joyful journey? 1.  Be ready .  There is nothing that throws us off balance than being unprepared for change.  Since we already established that change is a constant in a moving time, we should at least be ready for it.  In good times, paddle on so that you are ready to move up to even better times, better skills, stronger relationships, wider network.  You know what? When times are tough, same thing.  Let not interludes of bad days set

I would love to have lots of money.  Now we can set that aside.  However, it is an established fact that money alone cannot make you happy, much less joyful.  To some, living a life of privilege may even be restrictive.  To others who don't have it though, the same is true.  In a book entitled "Think Small"  authors Owain Service and Rory Gallagher said:  "If you are not happy about money, then you may not be using it right." Makes you think. You may have joy having little or lots of money, that is what I think. Its the way you dance with it that matters.   So how do I become ready to be financially abundant? First, let us set our perspective of money straight.   Money is flexible I had the privilege of interviewing some students from the public schools around the Philippines for a much coveted scholarship by a reputable foundation.  I was moved by stories of students living alone with a PhP200.00 allowance for a week and are thr

Ok, I may have pegged joy to be this profound spiritual journey towards unconditional bliss. I am sorry. Wait, I am not sorry because it is not true but because it does not have to be as hard as I may have made it sound. To begin to be joyful, all you need to do is... WAKE UP. Literally and figuratively. Literally, rise up from bed. Start the day sluggishly if you must, but get out of bed and into the world. There - is where the action happens. Figuratively, waking up is opening your eyes and listening to your OWN VOICE on what you should work on to be joyful.  It is important to tune in to YOU, because there will be other voices outside that would mess with your head and confuse you and eventually either lead you to do nothing or to overdrive.  Listen to YOU... and continue this journey, tuned in to your own voice. Waking up does not need to be a one-off.  Daily reflection and calibration to your inner compass is necessary. Have a truthful conversation with yourse

In 1998, Martin Seligman heralded the need to put attention to Positive Psychology, a term originally coined by Abraham Maslow, when he urged Psychologists in a speech that there is a need to study why happy people are happy. He then developed several theories about happiness and positive psychology in the ensuing years.  My favorite was that of Learned Optimism. In summary, it is challenging our natural reaction to events and training ourselves to consciously react to it positively.  When we approach adversity with a more positive frame of mind, we rewire our mind into learning to look at the situation with optimism - that is, that this is not a permanent situation...that it, too, shall come to pass. ACKNOWLEDGE THE SITUATION Notice there was no label to the situation.  It is a situation and it does not make you feel good. You lost someone, got into a squabble, lost something material, missed an opportunity - what ever it is-look at it objectively. The more important thing