Joy

Let me tell you a secret.   Writing these blogs makes me feel like a fake.  image from www.foundr.com This is not the first time.   I think of writing a book or organizing a talk and I stop dead in my tracks, because I feel like a fake.  I want to advise a friend to do something I have never done before (but makes sense in her situation) and I end up holding back because I feel like a fake.   I pray, and I feel like a fake.   Whenever I do something good, share something good, or express a standard, I feel like I am setting a bar even I could not reach.  I feel exhausted just thinking that people will expect me to be perfectly in tune with what I do value but could not consistently manifest.  Feeling like a fake can make me anxious sometimes.  For many of us, feeling like a fraud can be very limiting - but are we, really?   If the above description resonates with you, you are one of 70% of the population who has NEUROTIC IMPOSTOR SYNDROME.   Neu

It is ironic that we want to be joyful - yet everyday, we seem to invent an excuse not to be. Do not beat yourself up though. There are psychological processes and mindsets that we may not be aware we are operating on that gets in the way of living a joyful life.  The more we are aware of them and their counterparts, the more we can choose wisely our OS, so to speak. Linear Thinking vs. Lateral Thinking We usually think in a linear manner. We perceive things to appear in sequence.  We also experience life in sequence.  Even excuses to joy follows a linear pattern.  " When the kids are all grown up, and the bills stop...that's when joy will set in." , " After I get my promotion, then things will look up",  "They come first". Although linear thinking is helpful in many areas in our lives,  it is not a requirement for joy.  Positioning joy and happiness to follow a linear path suppresses the natural flow of joy. Linear thinking relies on p

I am sure by now,  you are itching to ask - so, is a happy person different from a joyful person? Let's start off by saying that there is no gloomy joyful person. Someone who is joyful is most certainly happy as well.  Happiness and joy are both feelings of elation.  I'd even go ahead and say that they can be used interchangeably and the image in our mind would be the same.  Is there no difference then?  There is no difference in meaning, but there is a difference in graduation.   Comparison:  one person graduates with a Bachelor in Psychology and the other graduates with a degree of Masters in Psychology.  I order a tall frappuccino and the other a grande frappuccino.  You get the picture?  There are three things that elevate joy over happiness:  Capacity. Stability.  Influence. Capacity .  A joyful person can contain more happiness in himself.  Let us use this analogy:  If I love you little and I see you, I may be happy to see you.  However, if I lov

The realm of joy resides deep in our being. It is therefore inevitable that we mention the soul when we talk about joy.  We know joy when we know our soul: its nature, its source and what it yearns for. Where is the compass of your soul pointing at? To what and whom will it find fulfillment? What is your soul drawn to?  You see, the soul has a different compass from the body. Our body seeks pleasure, our soul seeks consolation. Our body seeks knowledge, our soul seeks wisdom. Our body seeks beauty, our soul seeks goodness.  When we seek what the soul longs for, we experience joy.  However, as in all that is pure and noble, the cycle of joy is never complete unless it is shared. For example, God created us because He naturally wants to share His Goodness. Goodness cannot reach its full measure unless it is given away. Such too, is joy. We are never completely joyful, unless what we know, experience, or have, is shared.   The wellspring of joy, therefore is  sustained by giv

Eight years ago today, I knew of a sorrow so deep I did not think I would ever recover.  My mother passed away at 9:00 a.m. of April 24, 2010 and I have never been that sad before or since. Death of a loved one changes you.  It introduces you to a world of loss unlike any other.   When a loved one passes, much of one's sorrow lies in the separation and the pulling away of what we used to have.  It was in what I lost, in what I would no longer be able to do with her, about where I would go henceforth.   "I"  Much of my sorrow then stemmed from that singular concern over "myself" and it was a vast playground for self-pity, anxiety, uncertainty, guilt, insecurity and yes, loneliness.   It was good that my mother was the exact opposite of  my twisted focus.  Her wake was a loud reminder of that.  As friends and stories of her kindness flooded the halls, joy entered my being; not because I saw relief, but because I saw PURPOSE.  Sure,

"I wish life was simple, then it would be easier to be joyful." There lies the mystery of life and joy.  Joy is in the simplicity of life. It is weaved in the simplicity of truth.  Joy is the manifestation of acceptance of what life is... AS IS.  Whatever it is.  Wherever it is. With whomever it is. So here are some of the ways I think we can find JOY in life right NOW. 1.  Look closer.   It is easy to generalize unhappiness when one area in our life is not working as expected.  Finding joy takes effort.  We are to seek joy if we are to find it.  It has been said that what we focus on expands. If we focus on the problem, it becomes the theme of our existence.  Look for what is going right in your life rather than what is going wrong.  Is it your family's love? Is it your 8 to 5 job? Is it your health? Whatever it is, leverage on that so you can thrust what is going wrong to the background of your day.   2.  Remove Expectations .  What does being joyful m