Joy

When I was young, while washing the dishes, I would come up with wittisisms, quotes and simple statements  for the day and I would write them down in a notebook. I was about 10 years old. When I was 15, I started drafting a book. I did not get past the third chapter. Sometime when blogging became I thing, i also kept a blog (http://checksays.blogspot.com). Since then, in my mind, I was always writing a book, composing thoughts, pondering. I have always known that I am more reflective than others. I felt older than my peers, even.  I wanted to be like an Oprah even before I knew who Oprah was. However, as you can see, I am not even remotely near being an Oprah.  Why?  Because I  was afraid. I was afraid specifically, to fail.  The irony was that this fear  has kept me feeling like a failure for a long time. But as  I grew older, I realized there was no way I’d be happy if failure was not my friend because I will inevitably meet it along...

It’s a dangerous thing. Lethal to dreams. Detrimental to happiness. Last January, i wanted to get back to a course I once took, wanting to finish it once and for all. The moment I entered the Vice-Chair’s room, I knew I took too long a break. My last meeting with a school official was with a dignified retire-ready professor who short of begged me to finish the course before she retires. Now, i am facing a young, smart looking , young, professor (did I say young?) who was giving me a list of conditions for my re-entry. When I complained about the number of units she wanted me to take again, she said, “But it has been 17 years, Ma’am, so much has changed in the curriculum”.  I gasped.  Surprised to see my reaction, she asked, “Didn’t you notice?” No I did not. “Life happened”, I said. Another time, I bought a personal trainer package in a gym and (so me!) I found endless excuses  to miss my classes for ... well, I did not know how long. Miracle of miracles (ok, honest...

What if happiness is beyond your reach?  What if you are not wired to feel happy at will? This past week has brought to the fore issues that have been around for a very long time but are not widely understood.  Mental health, depression, suicide.  These three words resounded loudly in social media after two high-profile personalities took their lives only days apart. Both were perceived to be happy, wealthy and influential - yet, at that moment of weakness, depression took over and claimed their charmed lives. I do not know exactly what they were going through before committing suicide.  What I know is that no person who is happy, who can still hope, who can still find meaning in their lives can do this. I also know that NO ONE wants to be THAT LONELY. Much has been written about recognizing depression among our loved ones, what to do or say as well as helplines and professionals to call when it goes beyond our capabilities. The strongest message thou...

Stress is the new cholera. It's an epidemic affecting people of all ages and for good reasons. We are all afflicted by stress in varying degrees.  I myself have a stress related ailment:  Psoriasis.  I got it in 2005.  Back then  (and maybe even now), the source of my stress was all mental.   My daily life was a battle between how I am living my life and how I actually want to live it.   Then one day, Psoriasis happened to me and I faced the lessons I needed to learn then (and now).   1.  I need to be honest with myself.  I was not happy.  I did not like dressing up, working with numbers, or being thought of as soliciting favor (again this is purely mental).  I wanted to be happy with it, but I was not.   Back then, I did not want to admit it because I wanted to be "like" the people I worked with.  I did not want to be tagged a quitter. I did not want them to fin...

I was supposed to write about another getting over...moving on kinda post but after mass today, I changed my mind. I moved on.  Ahahaha! Though I would like to give my little share of ideas to help people get over some of the most nagging negative feelings so they can crossover to joy... I thought, in my life, there is nothing better than what I am about to share. So I'll go straight to that. On a trip, while I was staring out the window fascinated by the colors of fall, I realized I was so happy I just needed to pray.  So I did.  Once I retreated to that place where I met my Lord, I realized that all the joy I felt marveling over the color and beauty outside pale in comparison to the joy that I felt in that short 2 minutes commune with God. Similarly, in times I feel troubled, hurried, consumed with panic, my mind screeches to a halt and just center thoughts out to God.  In those times. nothing seem to make sense. No.  Make that - nothing tangible, ...

There is a more pestering feeling other than regret that may interrupt our journey to achieving joy. For those who unfortunately encountered evil in the eye, that feeling is ANGER. I am not talking about anger towards irritating people.  I am talking about anger towards people who hurt us, people who changed our view of humanity.  They are the molesters, the assailants, cheaters. In this post, I wish to bring to light ways to recover from anger.  By definition, to recover is to get back, to regain control, to reclaim balance . Getting Peace Back An attack against our person initially elicits the feelings of fear and helplessness.  However, ultimately, it is the feeling of anger that lingers on. When we are angry, peace is taken away from us. The accessibility of getting back at the aggressor, the permanence of the damage, and the value of what was lost determines how much of this anger remains with the aggrieved party.      Some a...

Since we are on the topic of time, I would like to talk today about regrets (roll up sleeves). I had soooooo many.  From the things I did, the things I did not do, to the things I bought and did not buy; said and did not say,  ate and did not eat.  There is so much guilt on not making the right decision at the right time with the right people. STOP. I used to have a collection of regrets. I look back at them as I would a photo album or a compilation of movies or tv series played over and over.  Hah! Now, I do not want to remember the contents of that collection anymore...but I do squirm at the thought of how long I spent ogling over them like prized possessions. At some point, I took a hard look at myself and said:  "My best years are yet to come". It was liberating.  Shifting my focus from "what could have been?" to "what could I do?" was magic! With that statement, I honored the glorious past, I respected my failures and mistakes, I embra...