Joy

When I was young, while washing the dishes, I would come up with wittisisms, quotes and simple statements  for the day and I would write them down in a notebook. I was about 10 years old. When I was 15, I started drafting a book. I did not get past the third chapter. Sometime when blogging became I thing, i also kept a blog (http://checksays.blogspot.com). Since then, in my mind, I was always writing a book, composing thoughts, pondering. I have always known that I am more reflective than others. I felt older than my peers, even.  I wanted to be like an Oprah even before I knew who Oprah was. However, as you can see, I am not even remotely near being an Oprah.  Why?  Because I  was afraid. I was afraid specifically, to fail.  The irony was that this fear  has kept me feeling like a failure for a long time. But as  I grew older, I realized there was no way I’d be happy if failure was not my friend because I will inevitably meet it along the way. As soon as I realised this,

It’s a dangerous thing. Lethal to dreams. Detrimental to happiness. Last January, i wanted to get back to a course I once took, wanting to finish it once and for all. The moment I entered the Vice-Chair’s room, I knew I took too long a break. My last meeting with a school official was with a dignified retire-ready professor who short of begged me to finish the course before she retires. Now, i am facing a young, smart looking , young, professor (did I say young?) who was giving me a list of conditions for my re-entry. When I complained about the number of units she wanted me to take again, she said, “But it has been 17 years, Ma’am, so much has changed in the curriculum”.  I gasped.  Surprised to see my reaction, she asked, “Didn’t you notice?” No I did not. “Life happened”, I said. Another time, I bought a personal trainer package in a gym and (so me!) I found endless excuses  to miss my classes for ... well, I did not know how long. Miracle of miracles (ok, honestly, more due t

What if happiness is beyond your reach?  What if you are not wired to feel happy at will? This past week has brought to the fore issues that have been around for a very long time but are not widely understood.  Mental health, depression, suicide.  These three words resounded loudly in social media after two high-profile personalities took their lives only days apart. Both were perceived to be happy, wealthy and influential - yet, at that moment of weakness, depression took over and claimed their charmed lives. I do not know exactly what they were going through before committing suicide.  What I know is that no person who is happy, who can still hope, who can still find meaning in their lives can do this. I also know that NO ONE wants to be THAT LONELY. Much has been written about recognizing depression among our loved ones, what to do or say as well as helplines and professionals to call when it goes beyond our capabilities. The strongest message though is to get profes